What Makes a Marriage Last? Honest Lessons from 15 Years, 3 Kids, and a Whole Lot of Growth
Have you ever wondered what makes a marriage really last?
Not the Instagram version.
Not the highlight reel.
But the real-life, messy, beautiful version of long-term love.
Fifteen years ago, I said “I do” to my husband. We were young—19 and 21—fresh out of college, figuring life out in a little apartment in Southern Indiana before a cross-country move for his military career. We had no idea what was ahead of us.
Fifteen years later? We still don’t have it all figured out.
But we’ve learned a lot.
This year, we celebrated with a quick weekend getaway to French Lick Resort, just 30 minutes from home. It wasn’t extravagant, but it was intentional. And honestly? That’s what I think makes love last: the small, sacred decisions to choose each other—again and again—even when life feels full.
If you’re in a season where you’re asking yourself “How do we make time for us when life is so busy?”
Or “What does long-term love actually look like beyond the wedding day?”
This post is for you.
Lesson 1: Stop Waiting for “Someday” to Celebrate
We’re all guilty of it—pushing things off because life is too busy right now.
“We’ll celebrate when the kids are older.”
“We’ll take a trip when the business slows down.”
“We’ll plan something when things feel easier.”
But the truth? Life doesn’t pause for perfect timing.
You have to make the choice to pause inside the busy.
That’s exactly why we booked our French Lick trip. It wasn’t about the fancy dinner or the spa (though, yes, we absolutely said yes to both). It was about carving out space to remember who we are—not just as parents or business partners, but as us.
What could you celebrate right now—even if it’s small?
Lesson 2: Grow With Each Other, Not Apart
Fifteen years ago, I was not the person I am today. Neither is he.
We’ve changed careers. We’ve added three kids to the mix. We’ve moved, started businesses, and weathered personal storms. We’ve each grown in ways we never expected—and sometimes at different paces.
Here’s the secret:
You have to let each other grow.
Long-term love is less about staying the same, and more about learning to love each new version of the person beside you.
Ask yourself:
Are you letting yourself evolve?
Are you giving your partner room to do the same?
Lesson 3: Real-Life Romance Looks Different (And That’s Okay)
Social media can make it look like everyone else is taking luxury trips and buying extravagant gifts. But real-life love? It’s usually made of smaller moments.
Sometimes we celebrate our anniversary with a date night at a local restaurant. Sometimes it’s a movie night at home with the kids, or a shared glass of wine after bedtime.
Romance doesn’t have to be grand—it just has to be intentional.
What could that look like for you this month?
Maybe it’s a night off from dishes.
Maybe it’s booking that hotel room close to home.
Maybe it’s just sitting on the couch together, phones down, for 15 minutes of real conversation.
Lesson 4: Make Time—Even When Life Is Full
Running a business, raising a family, managing a home—it’s a lot.
But marriage isn’t something you maintain by accident.
It’s something you build on purpose.
For us, that looks like:
Choosing weekends like this one at French Lick to reconnect
Saying yes to small, meaningful traditions
Checking in regularly (even when it feels like “just one more thing”)
What’s one simple tradition you could start right now?
Lesson 5: We’re Still Learning
Fifteen years in, we don’t have it all figured out. We still have days when we miss each other in the chaos of life. We still have moments when we forget to slow down.
But here’s what we do know:
We’ll keep choosing each other.
We’ll keep making the time.
We’ll keep learning, growing, and celebrating—not just the big milestones, but the everyday moments that build a life together.
If You’re in the Thick of It Right Now…
Maybe you’re newly married.
Maybe you’re years in, and wondering how to reconnect.
Maybe you’re just craving more intention in your relationship.
Here’s your reminder:
You don’t have to wait for perfect timing to celebrate love.
You just have to decide it matters now.
So book the trip.
Plan the dinner.
Take the walk.
Hold hands a little longer.
The life you’re building together?
It’s happening right now.
Share with Me:
What’s one way you celebrate love in your life? Big or small—I’d love to hear. Drop a comment or send me a message over on Instagram @inspiredbyriahjane.co.
